Short funny birthday wishes

You're not forty; you're eighteen with twenty two years of experience.
You're a hard person to shop for, so I didn't get you anything. Happy birthday.
You’re so old when you look at your birth certificate it said expired
You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience!
You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar.. Yung No Mo
You would have loved the gift I didn't bother getting you.
You think you’re something special because it’s your birthday today? You’re something special every day!
You think you are old? You're not old… you were old last year, this year you're ancient.
You recognize the fact that you’re getting older when the candles cost more than the birthday cake.

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You must have one of the best plastic surgeons. There is no other explanation.
I'll always think of you as someone older than me. Happy Birthday.
If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.
If someone comes up with the idea to call you old: then hit him with your stick and throw him your teeth! Happy Birthday!
I’m not going to make any age related jokes, because in fact I feel a little pity about how old you are.
I’m just here for the cake.
I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
I wish you all the best, for another 100 years here on earth!

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I was trying to think of what to get you for your birthday but nothing came to mind.
I wanted to give you something unique, grand and loving on your birthday! But I just did not fit on the screen!
I think we’re going to need a bigger cake to fit all your candles.