Short humorous birthday quotes

Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative. – By Maurice Chevalier
Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it. – By Golda Meir
Of late I appear To have reached that stage When people who look old Who are only my age. – By Richard Armour
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them. – By Ogden Nash
A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip. – By Unknown Author
There is still no cure for the common birthday. – By John Glenn
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. – By Unknown Author
Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty. – By Joan Rivers
Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life. – By Robert Southey

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Like many women my age, I am 28 years old. – By Mary Schmich
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. – By Charles Schultz
It's sad to grow old, but nice to ripen. – By Brigitte Bardot
Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened. – By Jennifer Yane
If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes. – By Euripedes
If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself. – By Ubie Blake
I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do. – By Phyllis Diller
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. – By Unknown Author

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I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it. – By Eva Gabor
Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed. – By Anthony Powell
For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday. – By John Glenn